Notes From the Humboldt County Blackout

When was the last time you sat in your living room laughing at shadow puppets cast onto your ceiling in the dark? Cozy pajamas, flashlights, blankets, candles, and good company. No television or computers, phone use is limited, and leaving the house is discouraged. Especially at night when most of the traffic lights aren’t working and the dead street lights emit an eerie tone on the dark sidewalks. But the stars and moon seem to shine brighter than you’ve noticed in the past, even out here in the pacific northwest.

When I got the text message at nearly 7pm on Tuesday night alerting me to the fact that power at my house and my business was being shut off at midnight, for an unknown amount of time, I did not instantly see the silver lining. For those of you that may not have heard, in an attempt to prevent more devastating wildfires from taking place, the utility company Pacific Gas and Electric has decided to implement outages in high-risk locations during extreme weather conditions. The national weather service had declared a high-wind and low-humidity situation throughout huge areas of the bay area and into the northern areas of California. Although our temperatures have been hovering around a cool sixty degrees this week, we did have fairly high winds on Wednesday, and our power here is dependent on lines that run through Shasta county where the weather patterns are much warmer. So out we went.

For an area as secluded and rural as Humboldt county, you’d think we’d handle our shit better. There’s just no way to say that better. Unfortunately the communications from PG&E to the public and local media were lacking. Around 6pm my clients began asking if we were still scheduled for appointments on Wednesday. At that point the only notification I had received was a text message at 11:40am saying “To protect public safety, PG&E may turn power off overnight” with a link to click on for more information. I clicked it, and their website wouldn’t work. I chalked it up to the work they’ve been doing on the gas lines near downtown (since I get notifications from them often). Turning power off “overnight” shouldn’t be a problem.

After several more client texts began to come through, I started to panic. I tried PG&E’s website again, and it finally loaded. I typed in my business address into their outage information page and when the words “area not affected” came up, I assumed our power would stay on. But to double and then triple check I went to the San Francisco Chronicle and ABC News’ websites to cross reference their maps of affected areas in California. Humboldt County showed nothing – hovering hundreds of miles north of the bay area, no colors identifying it in any special way. But if you checked any local news outlet’s social media or current breaking news feeds, all everyone was talking about was the power being shut off at midnight for as long as five days, or even a week. And then at 7pm I got the official text that we were being shut off too – but no one knew for how long.

Yes, the notice was short, and the potential financial impact on local business closures could be massive. I get that. And truthfully that was the only thing I was concerned about. Missing a week of work can be devastating, and since I already have a greatly impacted schedule, working all of my days off to fit clients in can make my busiest season seem all but intolerable. And I had two clients getting married on Saturday. As I texted clients to let them know that I simply would not know until the morning whether my business would be open or not, I thought about the local media stations’ speculation and the fact that PG&E’s website kept crashing with traffic. And so the chaos ensued.

What will the zombie apocalypse look like? Humboldt County hours before a supposed five-day blackout with minimal notice. Sans the actual zombies. Local media channels show lines at gas stations extending out far into the street, empty grocery store shelves, shopping carts full of water, every single store sold out of ice and generators. It feels like when midnight comes, the world will end. Maybe it will.

My sister had to go to several stores to get a portable battery because they were sold out everywhere. The roads were mayhem. At that point I had contacted all my clients, charged my portable battery, and my husband had cranked up the freezer to make more ice and freeze ice packs for the cooler. It’s my raw vegan week. We’ll not only eat well, but extra healthy during the blackout. We feel prepared with our disaster preparedness kit, fruit trees in the back yard, and almost full tanks of gas. And because of that, I was privileged enough to know we’d be perfectly fine for a week with no power, so I decided to hunker down. If this means preventing devastating wildfires, we’re in. I left the house twice in the early morning hours to check on my business – the first day when the power was completely out I took both of my dogs with me, should I encounter anyone in downtown causing trouble in the pitch black.

Needless to say, the atmosphere that a blackout creates is eerily quiet. It’s that feeling you get when you sense someone is watching you, only there probably isn’t. There just isn’t any noise to drown out the thoughts.

Just as soon as the power had gone out and we had all accepted our fate, the power came back on. I missed one day of work, but on Thursday, Humboldt County was back to business as usual. Not before PG&E workers were threatened with violence, a small amount of looting happened, and several people had gotten into minor scuffles, not unlike the usual Black Friday shenanigans we’re used to seeing on the evening news. No pun intended?

I had spent the blackout doing work from my car with my cell phone plugged in, getting a good and uninterrupted workout done, and then playing board games, talking, and eating by candlelight with my family.

Kanan mentioned how bright the stars looked without the glow of light pollution. And seemed to enjoy walking around delivering the mail in a world where for just one beautiful day, people got to take a big break. From work, from school, from their televisions, phones, and computers. From obligations. He walks around every single day and found the sheer amount of people working in their yards, walking their dogs, and just being outside refreshing.

The blackout got me thinking about a world that is rapidly changing. About how our daily food, water, and energy consumption is having real, material consequences that everyone can see. Will we recognize our wasteful habits and evolve accordingly? How will we adapt to climate change and it’s implications? What will happen to the people in areas that do have more extreme temperatures when the power goes out? And for those of us with a roof over our heads and food in the cooler- will we learn to appreciate the quiet and prepare our businesses for the darkness?

Vegan Holiday Shoe Guide

We’ve all noticed it- summer is turning into fall. It’s my favorite season, and in Humboldt county the nights seem to get colder and the days crisp, in what seems like the almost undetectable blink of an eye. Which means we’re in the midst of pumpkin patch trips, family photos, football games, parties, and holidays. It’s cozy season, but it’s also the season of glitter, glam, and New Year’s Eve. I celebrate the anniversary of opening my business on November 1st and my wedding anniversary on December 26th. To me, it’s truly the most wonderful time of the entire year.

I find that fall and winter are my favorite fashion months. Flannels and boots, rain gear and fuzzy socks, cozy pjs and furry slippers, dresses and heels (pretty much the only time I wear them). I’m inspired to troll Pinterest for the perfect outfit, and to shop for the perfect holiday gift.

This year, I encourage you to explore the wonderful and rapidly expanding selection of vegan shoes. I think that we can almost all agree at this point that vegan materials are a lot less Hannibal Lecter than animal skin. And when given the option for cute, good-quality footwear that is better for the planet, for animals, and for our own inner peace, why not choose the kinder option? Below I’ve included all of my favorite vegan shoes and brands. Happy shopping!

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Pawj California

LIZ10 For 10% off your entire purchase. ❤️

Short Boot $129.97
Tall Boot $149.97
Slipper $79.97

Pawj California makes my absolute favorite vegan boots and slippers. As a die-hard Ugg Boot fan it was difficult giving up my new pair every Christmas during the cold and rainy Humboldt winter. But now I don’t have to! Pawj is a woman-owned and family-run company based out of Southern California with goals to make environmentally friendly and humane Ugg- alternative style boots. I’ve had several pairs that have lived through two winters and are still in excellent condition. Since they come water-resistant right out of the box, you never have to worry about stains or water spots. My personal favorites are the slippers and short boots, and I love that all of the styles come in a wide color range.

https://www.pawjcalifornia.com

Jambu

Duck Boot $75
Snow Boot $79
Evelyn Booties $69

Jambu makes my absolute favorite duck-style boots. My search for a vegan option of the classic LL Bean-style boot ended here, and started my obsession with this brand. They are not an entirely vegan brand, but offer many vegan options! The classic duck boot comes in ten color options, is comfortable, water-resistant, and the perfect height for layering with cute, warm socks. I also love their snow boots (a great Sorel alternative) and their various selection of booties for more work-appropriate styles.

https://jambu.com/women/category/boots-booties

Lulus

Taylor Rose Gold Ankle Strap Heel $31
Hunter Black Suede Ankle Strap Heel $29

I’ll say it again for the people in the back- Lulu’s has an ENTIRELY VEGAN shoe selection on their website! Yes, you read that right. Now go check it out. Personally, I always find my favorite dressy shoes and heels here, but their range of choices is amazing, and everything is labeled and easy to decipher as vegan.

https://www.lulus.com/categories/179_257/vegan-shoes.html

Nike

Nike Air Presto $140

Since I do a lot of working out, I wanted to include my favorite vegan option for athletic shoes. Although Nike is no where near being an entirely vegan company, they did verify recently that their glues are now all plant sourced and therefore, all of their shoe styles that are synthetic with only man-made materials are now considered vegan-friendly. I personally have been wearing this style for years and haven’t found a more comfortable style for HIIT style workouts, cardio, and high rep lower-weight workouts.

https://m.nike.com/us/en_us/product/air-presto-id-shoe/?piid=45004&pbid=1008196145

And last but not least…

Birkenstock

Arizona Vegan $99.95

I’m including these for all those fall-obsessed gals in Humboldt who love rockin’ Birkenstock sandals with cozy socks, leggings, and a Patagonia fleece. You know who you are (and you are not wrong). When I saw that Birkenstock was finally offering a vegan range, I bought this style immediately and am completely obsessed!

https://www.birkenstock.com/us/vegan/

Sensi Magazine Freelance Work

For much of this year I’ve had the privilege of being an on-going contributor to our local Sensi Magazine Emerald Triangle edition. And I have some new and interesting articles coming this holiday, and next spring!

While bridal season comes to an end at my “day job” and I prepare to take some much-deserved vacation and enjoy the holidays to follow, I find myself in the final mad-dash to the imaginary finish line. A chaotic state I seem to create for myself each fall.

As I edit more Women In Business Series interviews, put together food journal entries from my entirely raw vegan experience, and catalog fitness and digital minimalism updates, I encourage you to pick up a copy of our monthly Sensi Magazine at a local business or browse through the online version. Below you will find two of my most recent articles.

Enjoy reading about North Coast happenings, unique businesses, alternative lifestyles, and health and wellness. (I’m usually in that section.) Support the good old written word and get back to those analog activities we’ve all gotten away from – like reading something you turn the pages of.

What’s better than cozying up with a hot beverage and flipping through a magazine as we watch this beautiful summer turn into fall? Not much.

Sensi Magazine, Emerald Triangle Ed. 09, 2019
Sensi Magazine, Emerald Triangle Ed. 09, 2019

For the full issue: http://s3.amazonaws.com/document.issuu.com/190828200219-dd58178e9ef8588098d3915f5b063558/original.file?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIATDDRE5J7YOA3PRJS&Expires=1568380147&Signature=BhrxdXPv3SB3Z6mXSGwEBzeF9hc%3D

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Sensi Magazine, Emerald Triangle Ed. 07, 2019
Sensi Magazine, Emerald Triangle Ed. 07, 2019

For the full issue: http://s3.amazonaws.com/document.issuu.com/190625163031-0c089d3448a0e414acc5b74fed7efbe9/original.file?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIATDDRE5J7X2YVMP3B&Expires=1568380304&Signature=6S8%2F%2Bu30r0Y5BWEMt71NRNIkzmo%3D

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Local Business Links:

Rebel Fitness & Nutrition https://rebelfitnessandnutrition.com

Body Tuners https://bodytuners-gym.com

Fit NorCal https://www.fitnorcal.com

Chumayo Spa http://www.chumayo.com

Platinum Float Spa http://platinumstudiosalonandspa.com

My 5 Favorite Vegan & Refined Sugar Free Treats!

Almost six months ago I made the decision to go refined-sugar free. This means that I only eat natural sugars ( found in whole foods ) and sweeteners that are minimally-processed like maple syrup and agave. It became clear to me that eating refined sugars (that our bodies are not naturally meant to process) was causing me to have negative physical effects like bloating and lethargy but even more shockingly, I realized that the intense spikes in my blood sugar levels were causing mood swings and intense anxiety.

So far I am 100% happy with my decision, and because I was already meal prepping and making a conscious effort to reduce my sugar consumption prior, the transition has been mostly easy.

The only difficult part has been finding desserts and treats that comply with my vegan and now refined-sugar-free lifestyle. So I’m sharing my current favorites with you so that you can incorporate some healthier options into your weekly routine, or once again enjoy delicious foods that maybe you thought you had to quit to be “healthy.”

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Treat #1: Not Your Sugar Mamas Chocolate Salted Caramel Chocolate Bar. With a gooey “caramel” center, this dark chocolate bar sweetened with maple syrup and coconut is the perfect movie night treat! Organic, gluten, dairy, and refined-sugar free. I find this bar at my local COOP, but you can also order them online.

Not Your Sugar Mama’s Salted Caramel Chocolate Bar $7.99

https://notyoursugarmamas.com

Ingredients: Organic Raw Cacao Powder, Organic Raw Cacao Butter, Organic Coconut Nectar, Organic Grade B Maple Syrup, Organic Raw Almond Butter, Organic Raw Coconut Oil, Organic Vanilla, Himalayan Sea Salt

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Treat #2: Autumn’s Gold Grain Free Maple Almond Butter Granola. Literally the most delicious granola I’ve ever tasted- great on yogurt and oats, or by itself! Vegan and gluten, grain and refined-sugar free. I purchase at Costco, but you can also buy online.

Autumn’s Gold Grain Free Maple Almond Butter Granola $14.99

https://www.autumnsgold.com

Ingredients: Almonds, Organic Maple Syrup, Coconut, Sunflower Seeds, Coconut Oil, Almond Butter, Salt, Cinnamon, Vanilla Extract, Sunflower Oil

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Treat #3: Vixen Kitchen Naked Vanilla Paleo Vegan Gelato. Personally, I try to stay away from any foods with sugar substitutes like stevia, which can make “sugar-free” ice cream hard to come by. Vixen Kitchen is woman owned, locally (Garberville, CA- my neck of the woods) made, organic, vegan, and gluten, soy, and refined-sugar free. My favorite flavor is vanilla, but you can find a variety on their website. I purchase at our local COOP.

Vixen Kitchen Paleo Vegan Gelato $12.99

https://vixenkitchen.co

Ingredients: Purified Water, Organic Raw Cashews, Organic Maple Syrup, Organic Fair Trade Vanilla Extract, Organic Vanilla Bean, Celtic Sea Salt

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Treat #4: Pascha Organic Dark Chocolate Chips. Making cookies (or anything that calls for chocolate chips) can be extra daunting without a great sugar-free chocolate chip option. Organic, vegan, sugar, nut, gluten, and soy free, these one-ingredient dark chocolate chips are a life saver for baking! I purchase at my local COOP, but you can also find them online and at Thrive Market.

Pascha Organic Dark Chocolate Chips $5.99

https://paschachocolate.com

Ingredients: Organic Cocoa Mass

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Treat #5: Emmy’s Organics Organic Coconut Cookie Dark Cacao. Organic, gluten, and refined -sugar free, these cookies are delicious. If you enjoy a coconut/chocolate combination then you’ll be obsessed with these Mounds-reminiscent treats. I purchase these in a large bag at Costco, but their website has several sizes, flavors, and combinations you can order if you like variety!

Emmy’s Organics Coconut Cookie Dark Cacao $8.89

https://emmysorganics.com/collections/coconutcookies/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIpd-5tomo5AIVBdVkCh0EJg8EEAAYASAAEgIJh_D_BwE

Ingredients: Organic Coconut, Organic Agave Syrup, Organic Fair-Trade Cocoa Powder, Organic Almond Flour, Organic Coconut Oil, Organic Vanilla Extract, Himalayan Salt

Women In Business Series: Kimberly Sweet Owner The Studio by Kimberly Ann

1) Explain what your business is, and your professional background in your field.

My name is Kimberly Sweet and I am the owner/photographer of The Studio By Kimberly Ann, a women’s portrait studio in Eureka, California that specializes in boudoir photography. I have a “no Photoshop” approach to boudoir and beauty and pride myself on giving my clients an experience that allows them to see how beautiful they truly are without using editing to modify their bodies. I started doing photography as a hobby in the summer of 2013 when I was working twenty hours a week in the president’s office at College of the Redwoods. I had just gotten married and didn’t know many people in the area because most of my college friends had moved back home after graduation so I wanted something to fill my time. I spent every spare minute researching how to work a camera. I watched tutorials, read every article I could get my hands on, and practiced on salt and pepper shakers, my dog, and my house plants.

Eventually I began to photograph my friends and hoped that one day I might make some money, but at the time didn’t have any expectation that I could do photography as a full-time career.

2) Tell us a little about yourself and why you chose to pursue a full time boudoir photography career.

As time went on and my business slowly started to grow, I was scheduling a couple sessions a week after work or on weekends. By this time I was working forty hours a week at the college but I loved photography and working with people so much I would still schedule any type of session I could get my hands on. If someone wanted to pay me to photograph something I didn’t say no. After a while I started to notice that whenever I had a boudoir session on my calendar I would look forward to it more than any other session. I started to feel burn out and dread approaching if I had to photograph anything other than boudoir. I enjoyed watching women come alive in front of my camera. I loved that when they received their galleries they got to see how truly beautiful they are.

Absolutely everything about boudoir sessions lit a fire in my heart and I knew that if I was going to be spending what little spare time I had doing something it needed to be this because I was passionate about it. Toward the end of 2015 I decided that in January of 2016 I would re-brand my business exclusively as boudoir photography. At the time I thought that this would mean I would be cutting back on photography and doing just a handful of sessions a year. I was okay with this idea because my photography income at the time was supplementary and I just wanted to be doing something that I believed in. Luckily for me that was not the case and within 4 months of launching my boudoir brand I had filled my calendar for the year and had leased my own studio in old town Eureka. Half way through the year my husband and I decided that I would quit my job the following year and pursue photography full time. Shortly after that we found out that we were pregnant with our first child which solidified my decision to leave my day job. Being able to stay home with my (now) two babies a majority of the time but still be able to contribute to our family financially feels like an absolute dream. I love spending my days at the park and the zoo with my little monsters but equally enjoy my Fridays in the studio when I get to have grown-up time.

3) Boudoir photography challenges you and your clients to be vulnerable. How do you approach this challenge?

I truly believe that every single woman should have a boudoir session done at least once in her life. It is vulnerable and empowering and humbling and adventurous and intimidating and validating all at the same time. Deciding to not only invest the time and money on yourself but to say that you and your body are worthy of being photographed and permanently preserved in an heirloom album or on canvas is huge.

The experience can be completely foreign-feeling for many women, and I understand that. I completely respect and appreciate every single woman who walks through my door. I understand that what they are doing is likely out of their comfort zone and the fact that they chose to come to me for such a vulnerable experience is one of the most humbling feelings. I try my best to treat my clients like my dearest friends and make them feel comfortable during their session – each woman receives a special gift from me on their session day thanking them for coming to The Studio for their boudoir experience.

I believe in boudoir, and I believe in women. I strive to have every woman who leaves my studio realize that they are stronger, more beautiful, more courageous, and more worthy than they thought they were before they came in.

4) What is beauty to you? And how does your work environment foster that idea?

Beauty varies so much from person to person. One woman may feel like her curvy figure is her most beautiful asset while another would feel like it is her least. To me beauty is about celebrating and highlighting whatever it is that makes you feel the best about yourself. It’s about putting your insecurities aside and allowing yourself to be seen for who you are. It’s not about fitting into a specific mold. When women come into the studio I want them to feel encouraged to celebrate themselves because they are so worth celebrating. I want my clients to let go of what they think they’re supposed to look like – this is why I don’t have many mirrors in the studio. I don’t want clients looking outward; I want them looking inward. If you feel beautiful it will show. And I’ll tell you what to do with your hands.

5) What is one valuable lesson you’ve learned from spending so much time with women of all different backgrounds and life situations?

One of my biggest lessons is that everyone has insecurities. All of my clients say that they are not like the women that I post online. Most women describe themselves as awkward, not photogenic, not sexy, overweight, wrinkly, saggy, or any combination of those things. Every. Single. One. And yet they all describe the other women they see in photographs as flawless, sexy, and confident. Those same women who were in the studio for their own sessions saying equally negative things about themselves. That’s where my “Allow yourself to Feel as Beautiful as You Really Are” saying comes from. When you relax and give yourself permission to let go of all your insecurities and all the “flaws” that society projects onto you as a woman and really allow yourself to feel beautiful, it shows.

6) What is your best piece of advice for someone interested, but apprehensive to book a boudoir session?

That you are worth it and that 99% of the women who have come before you felt the exact same way. Your job is to show up and relax – let me take care of the rest.

7) What is one thing you hope your kids learn from you as a female small business owner?

Only one? If I had to pick just one thing it would be that both my son and daughter have a positive body image and help encourage those around them to have a positive body image as well. You are not your body – you have a body. Your identity does not need to be wrapped up in your physical appearance.

General Questions:

8) What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever gotten?

God First. Family Second. Career Third.

In my experience when you keep these priorities in order things always seem to fall into place the way they are meant to.

9) What has been the biggest challenge / biggest reward of owning your own business?

Both questions have the same answer. That you are your own boss. I absolutely love that I get to make my own schedule and my own rules when it comes to my business. I feel so fortunate that I get to build my business around my family and not the other way around. Owning my own business allows me to be present and involved with my young children and I would absolutely not trade that for anything.

The biggest challenge is that you are your own boss and absolutely everything is riding on you. You are the marketing department, accounting department, human resources department, customer service, janitor, and sometimes office psychologist if we’re being honest. (Or am I the only one who gives myself pep talks at work?) I often say that I wish I had taken more business classes when I was first starting out – learning everything on your own as you go can be overwhelming.

10) What is one book that changed your life? Briefly describe why.

My First Book of Prayers changed my life. It was the first book that I read to my son so many times that I memorized it. It made me so grateful that I have the opportunity to spend so much time reading and playing with my kids that I get to memorize their books.

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320 2nd Street, Eureka CA

707-592-1930

http://www.photosbykimberlyann.com/contact.html

One Year No Beer

One year ago I sat around a breakfast table with my sister, my sister in law, and seven of my closest girlfriends to toast to my bachelorette party weekend and it’s success. In the loud cafeteria at Camp No Counselors Seattle we said goodbye over mimosas and departed to locations all over the country – back to our normal lives. I had made up my mind to quit drinking at the dance party the night before. I had been quietly considering it for months, wondering if I had the will power to go through with it. Somewhere between dancing the night away to Whitney Houston and standing in line for midnight nachos while drinking soda water and lime, the decision became crystal clear and easy. Camp left much to be desired, but my memories are all perfect – bunk beds and ping pong, waterslides and the talent show. Three nights in a cabin together with accomplished dynamic women taking breaks from their busy lives and careers to eat burgers in the mess hall and do bad yoga. Most of them I’ve known a decade or more – we’d come a long way from scream-singing Tenacious D songs at college house parties over shots of watermelon rum – most of us have been through a lot since then. I don’t want to say that being together again was like “the old days,” because it wasn’t. To me, it was better.

I’ll just start by saying that fifteen years is a long time to be in a one-sided relationship with something that only takes from you. Something that encourages your self loathing, and cheers for depression to root deeply inside your heart. Something that intentionally wastes your time and energy, strains your relationships and willfully stands strong and stubborn between you and your dreams and goals. I had decided I’d simply had enough of this self-inflicted bullshit.

I’ve never been someone who accepts what is “normal” just because everyone else does it. Sometimes I walk my own stubborn path to my detriment, questioning everything along the way. Critically. But this time I had recognized that for some reason the lemming in me had a thing for booze. I had fallen into the socially-acceptable catchall for life: alcohol fixes everything. Not that I believed this to be true, but on some level almost all of us buy into that narrative, otherwise we wouldn’t regularly drink alcohol. I wouldn’t drink a glass of milk because to me it represents violence, but I’d drink a beer because someone somewhere is selling me an illusion of happiness.

During this last year as I’ve put time between myself and alcohol, I’ve realized something big. We’ve been sold the idea that more money and more things will make us happier. We’re realizing that isn’t true. Each time we reach a new standard or pillar of accomplishment, we move the marker for success onto the next. If we live this way, we never reach happiness. On the sidelines of this over simplistic, capitalist equation for happiness is alcohol, working as an easy band aid when the rest of what we’ve been promised falls short. And it will always inevitably fall short. I believe that being truly happy requires so much more effort than buying something new and washing your guilt and lack of satisfaction down with a beer at the end of a long day. But I haven’t always felt this way.

Over my bachelorette party weekend I had several epiphanies. The most influential in my decision to quit drinking had to do with the company I keep. I could count on one hand how many alcoholic drinks I had over the course of my five-day party. As I quietly contemplated my decision to quit altogether I realized that I was having just as much fun without alcohol as I have with it (if not more). And then it “clicked.” Instead of drinking to “suffer” through events I attend out of a false sense of obligation, or drinking to “tolerate” people I do not wish to be around, I should stop wasting my time and life and just stop. Stop going and stop doing out of obligation and/or guilt. Give myself the emotional permission to create more time in my life by just saying no. If I don’t want to go, or I don’t enjoy the people, I shouldn’t be there. If I feel like I “need” alcohol to “have fun” then I am clearly using it as a band aid for a bigger problem: I am wasting my life doing things that do not serve me or my real happiness and that makes me unhappy. The other epiphany I had was that when you’re around your real people, the ones that give your life joy and meaning, alcohol is not just unnecessary, it can be a detriment to really experiencing your time together. And our time here is short.

Time. That is a topic I’ve written often about, and after discovering Andy Ramage and the company he co-founded: One Year No Beer, all the benefits of not drinking that I had struggled to articulate became clear. I was rarely a binge-drinker. I considered myself to be a moderate drinker, usually enjoying a beer or two a night after work “to relax.” My husband was the first one to point out to me that I shouldn’t need alcohol to relax, and that perhaps I should spend more time contemplating why I’m so unrelaxed in the first place. I met his ideas with stubborn resistance. I’m not an alcoholic. I work hard. Why shouldn’t I be able to have a beer at the end of a long day? I still, even now do not think that I have or had an alcohol dependency. What I did have was what Ramage talks a lot about: A bad habit that drains my energy while simultaneously sabotaging my physical and mental health. A habit that I engage in without question because society encourages it and deems it “normal.” And a habit that will always keep me from reaching my true and full potential because it is a huge waste of my time. Alcoholism aside, that just sounds terrible.

The focus of One Year No Beer is on the moderate drinkers. Those of us that do not consider ourselves extreme enough cases to need serious intervention or assistance, but who would benefit greatly from being part of a community of other people who just don’t want to drink anymore. Who recognize the untapped potential in a life and mind that isn’t constantly clouded or depleted by alcohol. Those of us that recognize that being an American should consist of more than working and drinking in an attempt to find happiness. Because most of us grew up living this model and are now realizing it’s pitfalls and failures. And we want more from our lives than a cycle that supports a general feeling of malaise.

Once I made the decision to quit drinking, I began to truly recognize how deeply alcohol is ingrained in our daily lives. When was the last time you stopped drinking for long enough to enjoy the physical and mental benefits of a body free of alcohol? From the research I did, the general consensus is that it takes at least two weeks to begin to feel the physical and mental benefits. Much longer if you want to experience things like long-term career or fitness boosts. Most of us will never experience this since we begin drinking as teens and continue on some level, forever. This shocked me to think about. Would I really never let myself experience my full potential because I like beer? That felt absurd.

One thing that the OYNB movement emphasizes is that the benefits of not drinking snowball tremendously. And after a year, I can attest to that. Time seems to multiply because every late night, every hungover or tired day, and every event I did not want to attend simply vanishes and can be replaced by other more fulfilling activities. Sleep improves, energy levels improve, depression and anxiety decrease, workouts are more effective, and work is more productive. Instead of struggling through a full day at moderate productivity, I find that I can complete more meaningful work on my business and personal endeavors in less time. Making time for even more meaningful relationships, goals, and activities. My husband and I have a stronger relationship (he quit too), and I believe that our decision to omit alcohol from our marriage will help us to focus our energy on positive endeavors and leave aside all of the complications and traps alcohol brings into relationships.

But it’s difficult to get that snowball rolling. Between the social event excuses, the work event excuses, and the “wine-o-clock,” “mama needs a beer,” and “life is better day drinking” t-shirts, alcoholism has become so pervasive in our culture that to not drink makes you somewhat of a social leper. My interest specifically on the strong emphasis on moms and females self proclaiming their drinking habits as a “funny” way to cope with our lives fascinates me, but that topic is for another day. As a meme I once read so accurately put it: “Galentines Day is not a thing. You’re an alcoholic.” And as someone who would have scoffed at that comment in a past life, I see it clearly now. Alcoholism has taken on a much more female tone recently- “I’m on a juice cleanse, and by juice I mean wine.” Normalizing drinking, emphasizing it’s importance in our social lives, and excusing our “need” for alcohol is not only shocking, but indicative of a culture that is starved for meaning. So I am happy to leave it behind forever.

Popping that special bottle of champagne my best friend brought and toasting to us, the round table of strong women felt like a break up. An empowering and permanent celebration of acceptance, surrounded by my biggest supporters. I’m leaving alcohol behind and beginning my new life with a different perspective – life is short and I refuse to waste it.

3 Lessons From My Husband

Today is my husband’s birthday. I’m up at 5am to write while Kanan sleeps so we’ll have the day to spend together once he wakes up. I know that I haven’t given much history about our relationship, and rarely divulge details about his life specifically, focusing mainly on relevant information for our topic at hand. So today, in an attempt to shine light on the person that my husband is, I’m going to share three big lessons that my husband has taught me about life in our last (almost) six years together.

If there’s one thing about Kanan’s personality that has always perplexed and fascinated me, it’s his ability to consistently be one step ahead of the rest of us when it comes to matters of “zen.” I use that term loosely and metaphorically to mean calm, collected, and unchanged by his surroundings. When we first met I mistook his disinterest in most things as aloofness, dismissiveness, and an overall indifference or dispassion, but I know now that my husband cares more deeply than anyone I’ve met, he’s just remarkably good at choosing what few things he cares about.

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Lesson #1: “Structure Your Life Differently.”

If I had a dollar for every time this phrase exited my husband’s mouth or came through to me via text message, I’d be rich, and I wouldn’t need to structure my life differently.

Over the years Kanan has seen me grow from a mid-twenties employee with undefined dreams to an early thirties small business owner with fairly clear goals for our future.

I’ve discovered that when I have an end goal in mind I will work relentlessly toward it regardless of the time and energy that it takes to get there, even if it means depleting every resource I have in the process. Sometimes this takes years to complete. Sometimes the “end goal” is so obscure and far off in the distance that it’s almost impossible for anyone else to see, let alone support. But I see it.

Kanan may not notice what I’m able to predict. He observes my chaotic life, chalk full of work and stress. I see myself lay one more brick down each day I wake up with intention. It may not look like much now, but someday I’ll build my castle, revel in it, then move on to something new. I thrive on accomplishment and projects. I find happiness in the process of building, not necessarily the “finished” result – consequently this means I’m never really done and I’m almost never satisfied.

He watches me struggle and sometimes doesn’t realize that I share his same vision. Laying a brick a day will get us there, I promise, but you need to trust me. A decade later, and the foundation is complete. Still a lot of castle to build, but it’s got something solid to stand on. Structuring your life differently takes time. Great things aren’t built overnight. Strategies take trial and error to perfect; systems take years to run smoothly. I’d work seven days a week, and teeter on the precipice of burnout – he’d say “structure your life differently.” I’d be at the end of my rope spending every “personal” moment on my phone working. What should I do? Structure my life differently. To him, its easy. A simple answer to any of those parts of my life I am not satisfied with.

His point: When I’m “done” I’m never done. So I may as well create a life I love to live in the process of building. Structure my life differently. 

It’s not that I didn’t understand this concept before – I feel like I have quite a clear understanding of what it takes to create a life you actually want, basically full of work I enjoy, people I enjoy, and activities that give me joy, purpose, and meaning. But for me it will take years to even define what that looks like, and I imagine it will be fluid and constantly in flux. But I feel like when he emphasizes that point to me, it’s his subtle and effective way to reiterate that I am the creator of my life and I do have the power to change it, and make it however I dream. It’s up to me, and he knows I can do it. After all, if I’m not happy with something in my life, all I need to do is do it differently.

Lesson #2: Leveling up is hard, but a great partnership will force you to level up constantly, and forever.

I resist what my husband tells me to do. My husband resists what I tell him to do. Together we end up stubbornly encouraging each other to become better people.

What I’ve discovered is that my husband and I chose each other for big reasons, and each one of us has greatly valuable qualities to bring to our table. So when we resist each other because of our strength and stubbornness, eventually one of us will rise to join the other. And when we really clash, it’s because one of us just hasn’t quite figured out how to get up to that next level yet. But with enough encouragement, we will.

This happens in small ways, like snoozing my alarm. I used to be that person. Snooze the alarm every single day for however long it takes to get out of bed in the morning. Kanan explicitly hated this behavior because it disrupts his sleep, and we had many arguments about it, until stubbornly and angrily I made it a point to get out of bed immediately, every single day as soon as my alarm went off. Annoyed and stubborn, I now am a more productive person who loves the morning and looks forward to quiet time alone with my coffee, my books, and my computer. Why would I want to waste that wonderful peaceful time snoozing?

This also happens in big ways, like eating more plant foods, a significant and long-term lifestyle change. Over the years Kanan has resisted my dietary choices being “pushed on him” and has explicitly made it clear to not tell him what to eat. It turns out, the squeaky vegan wheel gets the grease. When I see my husband packing his mostly (if not entirely) raw, plant based lunches for work everyday, coming home for his post-work kale, ginger, celery smoothie it does two things. It instantly makes me happy that we’re headed down this healthy, long path together, but also makes me realize that I can do better too. I don’t eat kale everyday; there’s always room to improve and grow.

When my husband and I seem to disagree, I now try to step back and look for the lesson inside the clashing of two stubborn individuals. We both want what’s best for us, so who needs the boost up to the next rung? The other one of us will be more that happy to provide it.

Lesson #3: Protect Your Time.

This last lesson I’ll share with you wraps back around to the initial idea of my husband as the “zen master.” Kanan is not a meditation expert. He doesn’t do yoga. He’s certainly not Buddhist. He has fairly liberal beliefs but is in no way carefree or someone I’d call a free spirit. He has not reached enlightenment. Nor is he wearing a poncho and selling beads in the park. My point: he’s neither a true zen master, or a wannabe zen master. He’s just himself.

He is an adamant nonconformist in his own way. He’s so punk rock about his time that it fascinates me and encourages me on my digital minimalism journey. Simply put, Kanan understands with no degree of uncertainty that his time is his own, and he is allowed to selfishly protect it. He can exist amongst the chaos and remain himself, a calm center.

Social media? Not worth the time or energy. Texting? Only if absolutely necessary, or to appease his text-happy wife. Facetime is a solid no. Calling is a sometimes and only for the most important in his life. He refuses to make plans if he even has an inkling he may not want to participate in something or may want to just relax and do what he wants. He doesn’t feel the need to answer to anyone about how he spends his personal time, and most of the time that philosophy does apply to me. And while this can frustrate me sometimes as his behavior can appear to be noncommittal or selfish (which it is), he generally encourages me to live the same way. Selfishly with my time, even when it pertains to matters involving him.

This has taught me that being selfish with my time is okay, and that respecting each other’s time is important. It’s taught me not to dole it out indiscriminately, and to really decide if something or someone is worth letting into my life and space. My husband is basically a minimalist at heart, and someone so confident in himself that he can live his life from his own center, allowing in only the things that mean most to him. That is a skill most of us have to actively cultivate with things like exercise, meditation, learning – strategies. I joke that Kanan has had it figured out since I met him. I thought he was antisocial and afraid to commit. It turns out he just wanted to make sure I was someone he wanted to give his most precious resource to before he decided to marry me. What a way to live.

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Wedding Photos:

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