Monthly Resource Collection May 2021

My newest obsession (aside from quitting coffee- which is going amazing by the way) is learning about how beauty, health, and wellness spaces have been colonized and therefore systematically made inaccessible to many people because of varying identities. I’ve been seriously studying this topic because it inherently intersects with just about every “ism.”

As a beauty professional (but also just as a human committed to social change) I believe it is so important I make the effort to understand how beauty, health and wellness practices have been stolen and appropriated from different cultures and religions, but also how these sectors of business have been whitewashed and healing has been constructed as a privilege for the few. These practices have very real and dangerous ripple effects on the mental and physical health of our society, affecting some much more than others.

Currently I feel like I’m constructing my own college semester (or several semesters) consisting of books, podcasts, webinars, documentaries, and articles created by BIPOC, people of various body sizes and shapes, disabled folks, and LGBTQIAA+ folks to try to learn from those who have not been placed conveniently in the front and center of the behemoth which is our current beauty, health and wellness industrial complex.

I’ve been on my fitness, health and wellness journey for years, focusing on the physical components. As I transition into a me that still loves moving my body, but is much more focused at this time on working on my mental, emotional, and spiritual fitness I think it is imperative to seek out a wide range of perspectives as teachers. People who specifically consider and recognize intersectionality and social systems as inextricably entwined with our healing and wellness. Individually, and as a collective. Healers who understand the implications these systems have on physical bodies.

If you were to look at my home library, I’d like to think the diversity of voices there is great. But when I started looking at the wellness / self improvement section of my collection, the majority are written by cisgender, non-disabled, White women, with some cisgender, non-disabled White men sprinkled in there. I didn’t have ONE book on business, self improvement, fitness or veganism written by a Mexican (my other half). What a disgrace.

Instead of feeling disempowered or guilty, I instantly saw a huge blind spot in my learning and turned it into an opportunity for change and growth, that hopefully I can share with you. There are so many more amazing authors, teachers, badass fitness instructors, vegans, and holistic health practitioners that want to share their gifts with us. Unfortunately, it takes more than diversifying our social media accounts to find many of them. It takes effort. Research. Time and energy. It takes paying them for their services if you are able. Until one day when finding a Latina business coach with a emphasis on holistic wellness from an intersectional perspective becomes as easy as finding a White woman on social media, eager to help you lose weight.

These are the resources I found particularly enlightening this month, but there are many more coming.

Books:

The Body Is Not An Apology, Sonya Renee Taylor

Every. One. With. A. Body: READ THIS BOOK! I received it with my monthly subscription to http://www.feministbookclub.com and oh my, did it deliver. Taylor posits that in order to dismantle systems of oppression we must learn to practice “radical self-love.” This is different than self-acceptance, confidence, or even self esteem, which she argues are not “scalable,” but restricted to the individual. When we work to unlearn and dismantle the systems that have taught us not to love our own bodies this will translate into empathy for bodies different than our own, and ultimately help to create a world where hate and terrorism against bodies will no longer be acceptable or common practice.

When we speak of the ills of the world – violence, poverty, injustice – we are not speaking conceptually; we are talking about things that happen to bodies… Racism, sexism, ableism, homo-and transphobia, ageism, fatphobia are algorithms created by humans’ struggle to make peace with the body. A radical self-love world is a world free from the systems of oppression that make it difficult and sometimes deadly to live in our bodies.”

Check out Sonya Taylor: https://www.sonyareneetaylor.com

Vibrate Higher Daily, Lalah Delia

Lalah Delia is a “spiritual writer, wellness educator, and certified spiritual practitioner.” She is such a light in the world and I am so glad I am learning from her! This book is an overview of her concept of “vibrating higher daily” which is essentially a way of existing in the world in a positive and enlightened way that draws you closer to your purpose, the collective, and the “divine” in order to use your gifts to create a better world.

Lalah Delia also teaches amazing webinars on everything from energy cleansing to divine timing. I signed up for her monthly subscription at https://www.vibratehigherdaily.com and I have been extremely happy with the amount and quality of content available for the $22 / month. I highly recommend!

Podcasts:

Shine Brighter Together Podcast with Monique Melton
Season 3, Episode 29: “Do Better w Rachel Ricketts”

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shine-brighter-together/id1464945623?i=1000518800938

Latino USA
5/21/21: “Masks Off With Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez”

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/latino-usa/id79681317?i=1000522634422

No Meat Athlete Radio
5/13/21: “NMA Chats: On Being a Vegan Activist in the Black Community with Jasmine C. Leyva”

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/no-meat-athlete-radio/id476196931?i=1000521580114

Get Loved Up with Koya Webb
Season 2, Episode 47: “11 Rituals to Raise Your Vibration”

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/get-loved-up-with-koya-webb/id1455677259?i=1000470869132

Black Girl in Om Podcast
12/17/29 59. #55. “Creating Space To Expand: A Live Conversation with Rachel Cargle”

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/black-girl-in-om/id1117951237?i=1000459859296

Real Food Reads Podcast
Episode 22: “Decolonize Your Diet: Luz Calvo and Catriona R. Esquibel

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/real-food-media/id1215522970?i=1000414763700

Movies:

Seaspiracy

This documentary focuses on the environmental impact of fishing, but also touches on the human rights violations perpetuated by a highly unregulated global industry.

My Morning and Evening Routine

I struggle with anything outside of my routine. And that’s exactly why I have one.

I originally developed several routine habits as a way to save myself time, be more efficient, accomplish more tasks, and try to etch some space out for myself amidst the chaotic life of a new small business owner. Practical. I think that we are all continuously overloaded with information and tasks, and these routines helped organize my life to make it slightly more liveable. However, after four years of implementing these strategies I’ve discovered the real benefit of having these routines: grounding.

Much less practical. Way more “woo woo.”

When you are grounded you feel calm, centered, balanced and strong. You’re less stressed and tense and more capable of introspection while simultaneously feeling like you’re part of something larger. For me, that “something larger” is nature, the universe, and other living beings. It’s difficult to stay grounded with constant demands and distractions on our time, things pulling us in a million directions at once, but I think there are many ways you can reconnect with your “something larger” in order to become more solid. The more balanced I am, the more capable and calm I feel when change and chaos come my way. And they inevitably always do.

I come back to my routine and feel safe. Your version of grounding can include any practice that is consistent and helps you feel connected to your version of “something larger.” Which, in turn, helps you to learn more about who you are. And you don’t need to be some meditation master. All you need is some commitment to put yourself first and an understanding that it won’t always be perfect, and that’s okay.

Here is my detailed AM / PM ritual! I hope it will help some of you with ideas on how to begin implementing time for grounding in your own life. I also want to mention that establishing this WAS NOT easy. It took at least a year of waking up early before I started to actually enjoy it, working out used to be a chore, and I got A LOT of pushback from my husband. He didn’t understand why I was forcing myself to do (what appeared to him as) even more things. He still thinks I do too much, but now I know that prioritizing me was the best choice I could make. It helps me to be more balanced and calm, and instead of feeling like I never get time for myself, I now usually feel fairly satisfied in that department. What may look like more work to other people can look like accomplishment, time for yourself, and peace of mind to you. Trust yourself.

AM:

-Wake up at 5am. Or whatever time necessary to have at least 3.5 hours of time before I have to begin my day or head to work.

-Set my phone to “do not disturb,” set it aside and put my Apple Watch on. I do not mirror my phone on my watch and only have workout apps, podcasts, music, and audiobooks. It’s also set to DND and is on silent.

-Put cozy pajamas on, pour myself some coffee with dairy free creamer (no sugar) and set a timer on my watch for 30 minutes.

-Read a book for 30 minutes. A physical book, simply for enjoyment. I like to do this in a cozy chair in the living room. Sometimes I light candles, sometimes I turn on the fireplace. Make it cozy! It’s early, so hopefully you can find somewhere quiet.

-Once that timer goes off I put my book away and set another timer for 15 minutes.

-I sit quietly for these 15 minutes with no distractions. Sometimes I practice breathing exercises, sometimes I mentally recite my meditation mantras, and sometimes I’m so scatterbrained that I just sit there and try to relax. The main thing is that I spend 15 minutes alone with myself. Sometimes I do this in the cozy chair, sometimes on a yoga mat, and sometimes in my mediation corner in my office. Again, I think it’s important to carve out some physical space for yourself.

-Once that timer goes off, I get up, grab my headphones and either put on a podcast or audiobook while I clean one part of the house. I generally do not spend more than 30 minutes per day cleaning, but this way I free up Saturdays and Sundays with no big chores. Ie: bathroom Wednesday, kitchen Thursday, dusting Friday. Make sure to assign chores to specific days ahead of time to reduce decision fatigue and time wasted.

-After doing my daily chore, I pull up my daily workout. I am fortunate enough to have a personal trainer who logs all of my workouts into a convenient app so I know what to do each day. I think it’s INCREDIBLY useful to plan out your week in advance as well, so you can eliminate daily decision fatigue. That topic is another blog altogether, but keep in mind you are much more likely to stick with your routine the fewer decisions you have to make in the moment. Set yourself up ahead of time. You don’t need a personal trainer to pre-plan your workouts for that week.) I workout for 45 minutes to one hour maximum. I also listen to music, or a podcast or audiobook during this time.

-After my workout, I get ready. I do not spend more than 45 mins to one hour showering and doing hair and makeup. I’ve decided at this point in my life, other things are more important to me. I listen to a podcast or audiobook while I get ready.

-Before I leave the house I feed the pets while making my morning breakfast smoothie (ingredients prepped and ready to go), and packing my lunch and snacks for the day (also prepped and ready to go). Then I’m out the door for about the next 10-11 hours.

PM:

My evening routine is much shorter, and fairly new. After a long work day I do not want to do anything except eat and sleep. But I knew that establishing something to let the chaos of the day go, so I can move more seamlessly into a relaxing evening is important. So at the beginning of this year (yep just a month ago) I finally committed to an evening routine. The key: make it short and simple.

-As soon as I walk through the door after work I put my work laundry in the washing machine and start it.

-I then make myself a cup of tea while washing my lunch and breakfast dishes.

-I give my husband a kiss, turn my phone on DND and silent and leave it in my work bag, then take my tea to enjoy while I change into pajamas, wash my face, and complete my skincare routine. This probably takes around five minutes.

-After my skin is taken care of, I go into my office, close the door and finish my tea while I write down three things I am grateful for and three good things that happened to me that day. This takes another five minutes.

-After that, I feel much more ready to cook dinner (which I hopefully prepped) and spend time with my husband until bed time.

-Depending on the day, I will usually check my phone for a minute or two right before I go to sleep in case someone texted me, but aside from that I try to keep my phone in another room and/or on DND and silent so I am separated from its distractions.

Photo: Amanda Lankila Photography https://instagram.com/amandalankilaphotography?igshid=calt99ozzq5s

2020 Book List / Monthly Resource Collection January 2021

Every year one of my goals is to read more.

In 2020 my objective was to read one book a week. As part of my daily ritual I schedule in thirty minutes of reading per day, early in the morning. I simultaneously listen to audiobooks during workouts and the in-between moments where my mind isn’t otherwise occupied: cleaning, doing my makeup, driving. This allows me the time to read two books at once, and strangely enough, the two mediums of delivery allow my brain to compartmentalize the story lines so they don’t overlap. I highly recommend.

This routine is perfect for me, and yet, in 2020 I still missed my goal by a lot. It was a complicated year. My book club has been put on hold as I struggle to run my business through this pandemic, and I’m learning to let certain things go. Not forever, but for now.

As long as I’m learning, that’s all that matters.

I hope you enjoy this post and pick up a few of my recommendations. I would also encourage you to do three things if reading more is a goal you share.

-First: schedule it in. Even if it’s only a few minutes a day or one block a week, it’s progress.

-Second: take an honest inventory of the materials you read and challenge yourself to expand the diversity of voices in your collection. Are you reading female-identified authors as often as male-identified? What about Black authors as often as white? Are you reading books written by authors from countries other than the one you live in? Throw some non-fiction in there if you typically shy away from it. I think that to truly use reading (or podcast listening, or movie watching… or any media consumption) as a path to learning it is necessary to expand our perspectives and expose ourselves to lived realities that are different from our own. This takes effort, but is important.

-Lastly, make a list of small, locally owned, and/or Black, Indigenous, Latinx-owned, etc. bookstores and support them! Where you purchase books also matters. And, if you are shopping from a variety of stores, it will be easier to find a diversity of voices. I have a list in my phone and rotate between them. I actually use Amazon as a wish list and organizational tool and then order my books elsewhere. It’s easy to do!

Five of the books I’ve read have an asterisk next to their number, indicating they were my favorites. I hope you’ll let me know what you think if you read them!

And for anyone wondering – Yes, The Stand is about a global pandemic. Ironically I did not know that until I picked it up. I simply was interested because I had never read anything by Stephen King and wanted to escape into some fiction (haha; joke’s on me). I’m now hooked (even though I’m not a big fiction reader), and have The Shining cued up next on Audible.

1) The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals that Protect Us from Violence, Gavin de Becker

*2) Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption, Bryan Stevenson

3) The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People / Thriving as an Empath: 365 Days of Self-Care for Sensitive People, Judith Orloff

*4) Stamped from the Beginning, Ibram X. Kendi

5) Are Prisons Obsolete?, Angela Davis

6) The Color Purple, Alice Walker

7) The Undocumented Americans, Karla Cornejo Villavicencio

8) Pushout: The Criminalization of Black Girls in Schools, Monique W. Morris

9) When They Call You a Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir, Asha Bandele and Patrisse Cullors

10) Becoming, Michelle Obama

11) Life Will be the Death of Me… and You Too!, Chelsea Handler

12) The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream, Barack Obama

13) Burden: A Preacher, A Klansman, And a True Story of Redemption in the Modern South, Courtney Hargrave

14) How to Be an Antiracist, Ibram X. Kendi

15) Idiot: Life Stories from the Creator of Help Helen Smash, Laura Clery

16) Caffeine: How Caffeine Created the Modern World, Michael Pollan

17) What Unites Us: Reflections on Patriotism, Dan Rather and Elliot Kirschner

*18) Columbine, Dave Cullen

19) Recovery: Freedom From Our Addictions, Russell Brand

20) White Fragility: Why it’s so Hard for White People to Talk About Racism, Robin Diangelo

21) The Color of Law: A Forgotten History of How Our Government Segregated America, Richard Rothstein

22) The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness, Michelle Alexander

23) Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women That a Movement Forgot, Mikki Kendall

*24) Born A Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood, Trevor Noah

*25) Between the World and Me, Ta-Nehisi Coates

26) Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol, Holly Whitaker

27) So You Want to Talk About Race, Ijeoma Oluo

28) Greenlights, Matthew McConaughey

29) We Were Eight Years in Power, Ta-Nehisi Coates

30) The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl, Issa Rae

31) The Stand, Stephen King

This year I read ten more than last, so I’m taking it as a win. Only about twenty more than that and with any luck, I’ll meet my 2021 goal of 52.