Women in Business Series: Shaydreca Sanders Owner Sanders Grooming Lounge & Supply

1) Briefly describe yourself, your background in your field, and your business.

My name is Shaydreca Sanders, but everyone calls me Shay. I was born and raised in Central Florida. I graduated from DeLand High School with honors in 2002 and earned my bachelor’s degree in psychology from The Florida A&M University in 2007. My wife, Laurie G. Sanders and I moved to Humboldt County in 2010 when she was recruited for a Behavior Analyst position in Arcata. I began developing my business in 2012, graduated from Fredrick and Charles Beauty College in 2015 and was able to open my own barbershop/salon in 2016: Sanders Grooming Lounge and Supply.

2) Explain what makes your business unique.

My business is unique because it was born from my family’s legacy of spirituality, business ownership, and community service.  

3) What inspired you to become an entrepreneur and business owner?

When I arrived in Humboldt, I knew I was far away from “home.” There weren’t many people that looked like me and the amenities that I was accustomed to were nonexistent. I wanted to fill in the void, but I didn’t know where to begin. The last straw for me however, was not being able to find someone that I trusted to do my hair.

My hair is very important to me because it represents my heritage and culture that I am very proud of. This is a feeling shared by most individuals from similar backgrounds.

4) What does beauty mean to you? And how does this translate into the work you do?

To me, beauty is a combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight. Nothing brings me more joy than transforming my clients into someone they themselves find beauty within. I love watching my clients come back to life after receiving a service from me.

5) What is one valuable lesson you’ve learned from working with people of all different backgrounds and life experiences?

I’ve learned how to have respect for each person’s individual journey and serve them accordingly. I believe this is how I’ve been able to build such a loyal clientele base.

6) What is one goal you hope to achieve through your business?

My ultimate goal is to be an example of what one can do if they run their business from the heart and not just for financial gain. 

7) What is one piece of advice you have for someone wanting to pursue their dreams of going into business for themselves?

Know who you are, and to thine own self be true! Work your magic!

8) What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?

Do you Shay! Don’t worry about those that are against you. Align yourself with people that are for you!

9) What has been the biggest challenge and the biggest reward from owning your own business?

The biggest challenge has been human relations within customer service. Disrespectful people make me angry (lol). The biggest reward has been human relations within customer service. People who show appreciation for me and my business make my heart soar. 

10) What is one book that changed your life? Why?

Peace From Broken Pieces by Iyanla Vanzant changed my life. This book spoke to my core being and gave me tools to access my full potential.

https://sandersgroominglounge.com

@sandersgroominglounge

707-502-5849

219 2nd Street, Eureka CA 95501

Answering My Own Women in Business Questions: Part 3

The Things I Ask Everyone:

1) What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever gotten?

I already mentioned “you teach people how to treat you” in last week’s interview. So, I’ll share another incredibly influential piece of advice.

“Give yourself the emotional permission to create more time.”

Rory Vaden

For the first time in my life, someone had addressed the real issue with “time management.” As a new small business owner, soon-to-be wife, and someone who has varying personal interests, I had become tired of reading the same self-help, time management advice which essentially consists of: make lists, multi task, wake up earlier, and create a schedule. I was doing all those things and still felt like I could never find a free moment for myself, despite my efforts and discipline to make it work.

Am I the only woman who feels this way? Umm, no. These time management styles work for those of us without complex societal pressures to do everything, for everyone. And they absolutely do not address how to cope with the resulting guilt we feel when we can’t do everything, or simply don’t want to, and the pit of despair we tend to fall into once we beat ourselves up for “failing” at everything and letting everyone down, including ourselves.

Those books don’t even try to teach us how to deal with the constant exhaustion and (let’s face it) straight up fury we feel when we try to explain these concepts and are gaslit at every turn by those around us and society at large. “It’s 2021, sexism isn’t a thing anymore. Everyone is equal so you choose this for yourself. Other women have it way worse than you anyway. You’re overreacting. Stop being so emotional. Why is everything about being a woman? Why can’t you just be happy? Be grateful. If you don’t want to do all that stuff, just don’t do it. Or just stop complaining.” And the list goes on, and on, and on…our experiences invalidated, our frustration bottled back up at our own expense.

The problem is that lurking below the impossible weight of our never-ending to do lists is guilt and a sense of emotional obligation to do everything. Someone had finally named it. And once I wrapped my head around this concept and started detaching myself from that guilt, things slowly began improving. The solution to breaking this cycle is to recognize that the game is rigged, flip it two big middle fingers, and start working on your damn self.

However, I do want to mention that Vaden’s argument omits any type of gender theory (and all other identity politics for that matter) making his solutions overly simplistic at times. I plan to write an entire blog post on this topic, but until women can identify that we are conditioned by society to be what Emily and Amelia Nagoski in their book Burnout call “Human Givers” rather than human beings, we cannot even begin to unlearn this conditioning in order to change our behaviors.

The bottom line: Human Givers are taught (from the moment society genders us) to believe everyone else is entitled to our time and if we don’t give it, we’re bad people. Unpleasant, ungrateful, rude, selfish, lazy people. While human beings are taught (from the moment society genders them) to go out and conquer the world! No guilt necessary.

Give yourself the emotional permission to create more time. No one else will give it to you.

Vaden’s TED Talk: https://youtu.be/y2X7c9TUQJ8

2) What’s the biggest challenge and biggest reward of owning your own business?

The biggest challenge for me has been scaling my business to meet demand every time I outgrow my current model.

It’s easy to get comfortable and want things to stay the same once I find a rhythm, but that’s not how businesses grow. The universe has a way of forcing me to level up if I’m open to seeing opportunities and willing to put in the work to make them real. But every time I’ve had to do this I fall into what I call the “work hole” where I live and breathe my projects until they’re done, at the expense of everything else in my life. I’m working on that.

The biggest reward is participating in a community of women who believe that if we help each other, we will all succeed. That’s powerful.

3) What is one book that changed your life? Why?

Find A Way by Diana Nyad.

Nyad became the first person to swim from Cuba to Florida without the assistance of a shark cage. She failed four other attempts, and succeeded on her fifth, when she was 64 years old. It took her 53 hours.

Basically she is one of the biggest badasses ever, and her ability to develop mental toughness and persistence in the face of so much adversity is amazing to read about. The logistics behind her story are fascinating, but her memoir changed my life because she’s an amazing writer (journalist by trade) and many of the principles she eloquently writes about apply to all aspects of life.

My favorite quote from Find A Way that has helped me through so many impossibly difficult times:

Take every minute, one at a time. Don’t be fooled by a perfect sea at any given moment. Accept and rise to whatever circumstance presents itself. Be in it full tilt, your best self. Summon your courage, your true grit. When the body fades, don’t let negative edges of despair creep in. Allowing negativity leads to a Pandora’s box syndrome. You can’t stop the doubts once you consent to let them seep into your tired, weakened brain. You must set your will. Set it now. Let nothing penetrate or cripple it.”

I’m On a Podcast!!!

Today’s blog is a shameless plug for my friend Ashtyn’s new podcast Cheers to Your Health. On her show, Ashtyn shares pieces of her own health, wellness, and fitness journey while interviewing people from all different backgrounds, interested in wellness and living a transformative life.

On her new episode, she interviews me! We talk about why I’m vegan, my food and fitness journey, my recommendations if you’re looking to go vegan, and what it’s like being married to an omnivore. I am so grateful for this opportunity and I hope you go subscribe to Cheers to Your Health, give my episode a listen, and let us know what you think. Enjoy!

Show notes.

Listen and subscribe at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cheers-to-your-health/id1531823256?i=1000497464025