I’m losing focus. I can tell when this is happening because I feel scattered, ungrounded, and become obsessed with work. October has been a whirlwind for my business (all good things, coming soon) but that means that during my “down time” I do less learning and more zoning out. Tuning out. Which ultimately leads me to feeling unsettled and unfulfilled. I go from work to distraction, from distraction to work. I’m in constant movement.
Instead of reading, I watch TV. Instead of learning, I scroll. Instead of being grateful, I shop. I notice these patterns and try to give myself a certain amount of understanding when I’m feeling overwhelmed, however, the irony is in the realization that the behaviors I tend to revert back to during times of intense change or stress only increase my feelings of anxiety. And on we go.
I’ve put safeguards in place over the years to prevent the spiral – a solid morning routine, work boundaries, fitness, meditation, healthy eating, mindfulness, and less media consumption. Since the start of shelter in place I have participated in more media consumption than I’d prefer. Much more. But it saved my business, and serves a necessary purpose. However, after coming off of a month-long digital declutter, resulting in my claim to be a digital minimalist, the subsequent use of constant tech is taking its toll. My mind felt clear and awake before. Inspired. And now it feels loud, cloudy, and distracted.
The reason why I bring this up is because I’ve gone from reading at least several books a month, no none. Suddenly. And I know exactly why. It’s not that the time suddenly disappeared, it’s because I’m falling into old time wasting patterns that do not serve me. And I do not want my priorities to change. I’m much happier when I’m learning, taking time for introspection, and living a quiet life. I’m not doing that right now, and I feel it.
This month’s resources consist of the few podcasts I managed to focus on that I think are currently relevant. Most are from Code Switch by NPR. I also included a couple episodes from the true crime genre (another one of my favorite types of podcasts) that discuss important social justice cases, therefore, making them relevant here. I imagine that between work, the election, and general holiday chaos, it may be a struggle for me to conduct interviews for my guest features, or even prioritize reading books. I’ve come to terms with that as my temporary reality.
So in January, I plan to completely step out of the media world once again to find my footing and build on the progress I made before the world changed.
Notable Podcast Episodes:
– “Is Trump Really That Racist?” Code Switch, NPR, 20 Oct, 2020. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/code-switch/id1112190608?i=1000495497006
-“Let’s Talk About Kamala Harris.” Code Switch, NPR, 13 Oct, 2020. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/code-switch/id1112190608?i=1000494674687
-“Is it time to say R.I.P. to ‘POC’?” Code Switch, NPR, 29 Sept, 2020. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/code-switch/id1112190608?i=1000493048421
-The episode I found most interesting: “The Latinx Vote Comes Of Age.” Code Switch, NPR, 27 Oct, 2020. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/code-switch/id1112190608?i=1000496309010
True Crime Podcast Notable Episodes:
The first part of this episode covers the 16th Street Baptist Church bombing of 1963 in Birmingham, Alabama. A white supremacist terrorist group comprised of four Klansmen segregationists bombed a church, which resulted in the deaths of four girls: Addie Mae Collins, Cynthia Wesley, Carole Robertson, and Carol Denise McNair, and left up to 22 other people injured. This tragedy helped garner support for the Civil Rights Act of 1964, although justice was not served until 2001 and 2002 when the case was reopened and convictions were finally made.